Confusion

What do you want from me?
But I guess I already know..
So many people, so many reasons -
to be my friend, or to be something else?
Taking so much

Its more than I can handle,
its a struggle just to breathe.
Being crushed and weighed down by the choices i've made,
and the people i've chosen to see..

And you too? This cant be happening.
No, not to me.
I thought you were different, I thought you were what I needed.
Ruining everything, changing and deforming it -
I've got to rewind

Its more than I can handle,
its a strugle just to breathe.
Being crushed and weighed down by the choices i've made,
and the people i've chosen to see..

But what do I do now?
In spite of everything, I dont want to hurt you
I cant think - I want it to be right so badly,
that I may just convince my self it is.
But its not supposed to be like this -
its not what I want -

Cant you see?

Happiness

This is the rhyme and the reason, the thing that keeps me going through out even the toughest times. Happiness and its pursuit.

What will it take for you to see me, for you to know
I would follow you forever, wherever you go.
As these tears burn like fire down my face,
I wonder if this is merley me being put in my place.
I was foolish to think, foolish to hope,
now it is all I can do to cope.
And yet I dont want to think this, dont want to say,
I just wish that this could all work out my way.
But that was selfish too I suppose.
I wonder if its just me, or if it really shows.

Please

Is everything ok?
It appears so on the outside, but still, I'm not so sure..
Pivotal moments and life changing times - I wonder if you can see.
You don't need this, it really will be ok.
Caught up in the moments of this fast paced world.
It's so easy easy to get lost, so easy to lose sight, I really do understand.
How I wish you could see me, could hear me,
to know that it's ok.
I want this for you, I want you to believe.
This I know to be true.

My own description of how I try and live my life...

When all else fails and the day is done,
and there is nothing left to say,
will your regret the words that were spoken,
or the memories slipped away?

There is perhaps no better match for a hot and sunny summer day than a patch of grass in the cool shade. Where one can feel the beauty and serenity that is nature and be totally immersed in it, as if the beat of your heart deep in your chest, the flow of the birds in the sky, the steady growth of the plants around you and the revolving of the earth are all suddenly connected in one. I relish the blissful happiness and peace that is the warmth of the air and the cool of the grass. It is a place where all of it, everything thing that I find myself fighting against everyday of my life seem the escape into the sky, and drift away with the clouds. This is were I can enjoy the present, be hopeful for the future, and above all else be at peace with myself.

Hello..

Hello,
My name is Amanda and I am sixteen years old. I am new to the whole "blogging" concept, so forgive me if it takes me a while to get this thing really going. I created this page as an outlet for my writing and photos, and to hopefully get comments and suggestions back from others. So, enjoy.

~Amanda