It's in the air.

Nostalgia gives way to potential,

The homey homely to the imagined image -

The things that buzz, drunk on desires,

Granting glances at what may only be guessed at.

They move freely and happily between

What may only be traversed through pain.

These are my fireflies; palm trees by day, neon by night.

You can try and kill them if you like,

But it’s more than them you’ll have to reckon with.

Vision is almost as flimsy as thought

And neither may die, only move, only hope, only cry,

Gilded with the shadow of membrane that curves

around what is hidden by ivory and wine

and what gains passage on the wind.

The paths I’m peddling towards,

Map-less and blind, lie somewhere in between.

So I’ve been told.


*For reals post later this week, hopefully.

Cell

I’m trapped by your lock and key

That you’ve hidden within me

Somewhere where my hands can’t reach

In a cavity my nails can’t carve out

Sitting there, existing

Beating, with your pulse

That traps me

More than metal, more than iron

It breathes as you breathe

It beats as you beat;

You’re locked with it

Locked with me

Distanced by the flesh and blood and bone

That I can’t remove

That you can’t escape

Because your trap for me

Is my trap for you

So now we exist

Solitarily jailed

Together.

Don't Breathe.

I've got you here
in my lungs
compressed and rebelling
the repression of my ribs
of my bones
and the things that know
what you're doing here
but can't let it out
can't let you out -
to swallow me whole
to keep me in your lungs
the prisoner to you that I'm already becoming
the words and the thoughts that are already shoving -
now in my eyes
who have learned how to see you differently
jailed by my skull
by my bones
while you have learned
to consume me like I consumed you.
heavy and whole
fogging up our insides
and waiting
praying
for both of us to breathe

Projunction

Old thorns are pulling into my scalp

While my brain prays that it’s worthy of these wounds
That I’ve built for myself
That you’ve built for me
That I still think I need
 That maybe I need

While new Gravity keeps at the meat of my cheeks
Drowning me – down into a distant enemy
Of a world where I know what I want
and I don’t know you
and I don’t know truth
 and I pray I'm a fool

Where the words are all I see and breathe
And just when I grow my wings
It’s my arms that I need
 It’s my arms that I need

This place where the blood in my eyes turns everything red
Where the truthful are the week and the deaf are the blind
Where the daydreams can speak but can never be said
 Where everything exists but nothing’s a sign

And the blood is my power
And the blood is my gain
And I can’t feel love or it was all for vain
 All for the specter hiding inside of my brain

The thorns here are brittle, and my hate is my love
And the dirt under my nails is close as any glove
Thread born by a place ignored from above
 In a pathway that won’t be lit

But you still think I’m worth it.


But Maybe I’m worth it


But Maybe I’m worth it


But


-Sometimes I don't even understand how these thoughts get into my brain-

Acid Rain

The rain,
a life giving seed
pregnant with possibility and destruction,
washed away every doubt or hope
that I still carried
as a reminder of
the life
that we didn't share,
but would have
of the things that were never said,
but should have
and the images that don't exist,
but could have.

An alternate reality,
we were never meant to see.
An accidental crossing,
of our fatal jealousy.

Still, with you, the life I need,
wouldn't have
the things I want,
shouldn't have
and the person I am
could never have.

The rain may be a murderer,
but it plants a greater seed.
And I could never hope to end
my true speakers greed.

The People

Where have all the words gone?
Flown away for short or for long -
replaced with the yells and cries and petty lies
that swarm our silly world.
The things that never matter much
are the things we have in abundance.

Im am a wanderer through the dust
crying just to see.
but the words are all gone now
leaving our monotony.

The things that never matter much
are the things we have in abundance.
The dreams and the faith and the love -
there's never enough.

The people still march on,
the ones who don't know thy're lost
find the greatest reward
and risk the greatest cost.

While Sitting in a Box

He pulled the curtains shut

------walked in circles as he went

"someone please turn the music up"
maybe I'll remember to forget.


Water howls and wind drips

such a suburban afternoon

------he can't pull back from that wish
that encapsulates this room.

lights dimmed
walls up
the cracks there from before
he hopes to find a bit of luck
who was it we used to dream for?

yet,
We do it for the weaker ones
--we do it for regret

The only thing we ask of you,
-------remember to forget.


When once life seemed so bare
still ready for it yet

He never thought it would hurt so much
or that he'd have to

-----remember to forget.

I know it's not literary genius, but my brain can only accomplish so much at 8:00 in the morning.



You never know what can happen
but, you never know what wont
The stories that you tell only madden
where do I find this hope

You look at me without fear
and I wish I could run - run away
I can see you pacing in the mirror
those practiced words, I wish I could say

Laughter can only cover
what it is we already know
while I fall into the cold sky's cover
I pray your warmth doesn't let me go.

In hiding

Laying on the harsh flat ground
and looking at the sky.
No clouds or starts there to be found,
the pale white hum of an electric firefly.

While my thoughts are swelling
yet hiding from the truth.
I guess there's no telling
if I've set off on something new.

As a spider walks crossed the ceiling
a path he makes alone.
It's obvious I'm done healing,
but this is something I have yet to show.

North Star

North star, north star
-why do you have to stay so far?
I wish i could fly up to where you are
-and hang there for a while.

I'd look back down upon the world
-some tiny orb that's being hurled
through a univere not yet unfurled
-just some cosmic mystery.

The Game

Waiting for time to tick away
I'll even take another day
when this game will be over
this trick that you've played

And on this old worn sofa I sit
trying to come out of it
still locked inside what has been
and hoping to forget

With every chance that passes by
I cant help but wonder why
I am always someones second choice
this I cant deny

9

Come, grab my hand
just stay with me and don't let go
while we're here, right now
all we've got here is nine months to know

And as we both move closer
to that dark foreboding day
both anxious, yet still waiting
for what the other will say

So stop, and don't move
Please find a way to stay
Because with the whole world waiting
With their - rules, and game to play
I don't want this to turn into
the memory of a day

Stuck

Caught between,
an impossibility
and a hard place.
No way that I can find,
out of this race.

Maybe it's just silly me..
in trying to erase
Whatever it is that keeps us -
from falling into place.

Just please, dont tell me,
that these feelings are waste.

With Everything You Were..

I thought that you were gone from my life
along with all that pain and strife,
that came - with everything you were, and everything in me.

While the hands on the clock lie somewhere 'round ten
I close my eyes and I'm back again,
back - with everything you were, and everything in me.

And as I sleep I see your face
a sight no longer as common place,
as it was - with everything you were, and everything in me.

And now I hope, laugh and cry
becuase with you back I've got to wonder why.
With everything you were, you were nothing to do with me.

i'm sorry if i couldn't be
couldn't be good enough
but i am who i am, and that's more than you see
and through these years my skin has gotten pretty tough
but that doesn't mean you can never break through

And that puzzled look on your face
when you hear of my troubles just makes me laugh
because you swear that you're different, but I hear those words said in poor taste
but some how I'm disillusioned enough to think that maybe this will pass
that you'll be different

Because with all the good there is
it can still be such a cold world
and I'm told that i cant know anything about life, that I've hardly lived
but I've dealt with everything that comes my way, all that is hurled
and I've grown up fast, and maybe missed out on what I've always wanted most

I'm hoping that day will come
when it will all make sense and you will come stand by my side
and see everything that's been done
every time you lied
but i probably should stop wishing
because even if you were to one day know
am I even worth enough to you
would you even let it show?