Monday, September 20, 2010

Different Paths

Undoubtedly the biggest thing that I've learned in two years of college is just how polarized the real world is (what exactly constitutes a real world anyways? God knows it certainly isn't logic, sanity, kindness, or any of those other things you would expect). I have always known and been friends with people of different beliefs - personal, political and religious - but it never really made much of a difference to anyone because, hey, we still got along and that was all that really mattered. In college, or at least at my college, it's almost as if people have to prove just how loud they can scream (almost like when all of us first graders would have screaming contests back in elementary school). Atheists are "educating" the religious, the religious are preaching to the "non believers", republicans and democrats constantly fight with each other, I could go on and on. It's like world war 3 inbetween statistics and English.

But I know what you're thinking.

Amanda, have you ever seen the news before?

Why yes. Yes I have. But the news isn't supposed to dead lock study groups, and it shouldn't cause brawls in the cafeteria.

But believe it or not, the news really isn't what I wanted to write about today.    It's marriage.

Before one of my classes this afternoon, I was discussing with a friend which schools I would be applying to in a couple of weeks (I am transferring next year). When I casually mentioned that one of the schools I was looking into was an all girls school, she was pretty shocked.
"Why would you want to go to an all girls school? How are you going to meet your husband?" was her response.
"I'll let you know once I've met him" Was my answer after the surprise subsided. It was in my head, anyways. The truth is, the idea of going to an all girl school makes me a little nervous, sure, and there isn't anything wrong with getting married. But that is not why I am going to school. Even if I went to a school that didn't allow boys, it isn't like I would be stranded on a desert island with only my fellow females, and I almost certainly won't be rushing to get married after college (I will only be 22 if everything goes according to plan).

The truth is, that my entire life and existence has been one big preparation for "the future". Why else do I go to school and take more classes that I could care less about than classes I look forward to? The future. Why do I save as much money as I possibly can? The future. Is it so wrong to selfishly live in the moment and enjoy doing the things that I want to do in the way that I want to do them? A couple of years ago, I would have whole heartily agreed with this friend and the majority of the other girls at my polarized school, back when I was all "oh, true love! Destiny! Yadda Yadda!". But right now I just want to live part of my life for myself before I worry about sharing the rest of it with someone else.

When I said, "Maybe some people just aren't meant to get married" she just rolled her eyes. And sure, it would kill me to die an unmarried hag and never have kids or a family. But that doesn't mean that I have to make it my prime directive at the moment, either.

My eighteen year old path is a short one, and eventually it will meet me up with someone else. But for now, I'm taking my time.

I find it odd that in a place with so many different beliefs and goals, this one is making me stick out.


Jennifer Louise said...

This is a fantastically mature thought for an 18 year old :)

And I agree with you, you've got you're whole life to meet someone, and only a few years (if according to plan) to study and work out what you want to do with your life!

Great post!


Amanda said...

You have no idea how fantastic that is to hear.