Thursday, December 23, 2010

Tisn't the Season

I cant believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It just doesn't feel real. I've been doing all of the Christmas time usuals - listening to music, wrapping presents, watching the movies, somehow it just doesn't feel real. Maybe it's because this year I haven't really gone to any big Christmas get togethers, and I don't have a conventional job like I did last year - where there is lots of decorations and music as a constant reminder.

It makes me a little sad to think that Christmas will be over before I've really had a chance to enjoy it. The fact that I've been house-bound (more or less) for a week due to rain isn't exactly helping this funk I'm in, either.

I feel bad that I wasn't able to buy my friend and family super fantastical gifts this year (especially when I hear about the gifts that my friends have bought), but I am flat out broke, and my savings is something I want to keep for when I really need it - I refuse to dip into it anymore. That being said, I am so excited to give my sister her gift, but I'm afraid that I've built it up so much that she will be a little disappointed. She doesn't read this, so I have no problem talking about it.

She is a Beatles freak who doesn't own a clock - so I made her one out of a real record using pictures of the beatles! I'm not exactly sure how useful it will be for actually keeping time, but like I said, she doesn't actually use a clock anyway.

Anyways, that's it for now. Merry Christmas everyone!

But Maybe I'm not the one who's stuck

My brain is stuck in an elevator
traveling back and forth between what
 was and what is.
 maybe this elevator should move a little straighter
because what could have been always falls into the mix

My ears are made a notebook
scribed with the sound of every look and sigh
your voice's nervous cracks and missteps
both pretending not to look
It's all we had and it's all that's left

My eyes are glued on spotlights trying to find
a way to find - your face
looking, looking, looking
for a sight that's too unkind
and doesn't know it's place

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Dead Batteries and The Electric Friendship Generator.

I'm tired right now and not thinking straight. Every ounce of me wants to leave school, skip my meeting, and go home to just sleep. Well, every ounce except the one that controls my motor functions. Dang.

I was up pretty late doing homework last night, and even after eight hours of work, I still feel like I've accomplished nothing. Sometimes I work fantastically under stress, and other times I just sort of fall of the face of the earth. I'm leaning towards the latter right now.

Last night was the submission deadline for state schools, and I sort of think of my fate as now being sealed. Yes, there are still privates to do, but those are more of a long shot. Even though I still haven't decided where I want to go, I had been fairly confident in my possible choices up until yesterday. Then, for some reason, I had a freak out moment, and sent in an application to an extra school that I hadn't been planning on. Now I just keep running those applications through my head.

Did I forget an extracurriculars I've done?
Oh god, I hope I didn't accidentally get charged twice because I forgot to check a box when I filled out the credit card info.
Wow, my personal statements were crap weren't they. And my additional comments? Who in the hell puts additional comments! People who don't get in, that's who.

From the moment I woke up this morning, I've had a bad feeling, and it just keeps getting worse. (Although, the sketchy cafeteria food I paid way too much for might have something to do with it). Not to mention I recently had a slight disagreement with the teacher whom I have next. I really would like to not have an awkward private discussion about it with him. Really. Really Really.

All of this, and finals are still two and a half weeks aways. Next week, things get even worse.

In the mean time, it's not all doom and gloom. Here is a hilarious video about facebook that I found. Enjoy.