Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Trauma Ramma

Drama doesn't bother me anymore.
   -Ok, so maybe that's a lie.

Drama is for wossies.

   -Another lie.

I just don't care about drama anymore!

   -'Aint that the truth.

I feel like I have actually reached the threshold for the amount of drama a human being can withstand in one lifetime. In high school, it was impossible to escape drama. In college, you can only escape it if you choose to not have any friends or a job. I used to take it all so personally - but honestly? I just don't care about it anyomore!

Wait, rewind that. Let me clarify - if one of my friends is having a terrible time, I care. If someone thinks that I am doing a terrible job, I care. I care and I get angry or sad or whatever the situation calls for - and then I stop. I just let it go and not let it bother me any more. Unfortunatly, this is a new adaptation - and really, it's just that. An adaptation.

I think that maybe this new development in my life is the result of one thing: I don't think that I have ever had more faith in myself. When I say that, I don't mean that I think I can do anything and everything, but for the first time I really trust that the decisions I make are the right ones; the right ones for me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

What's worse? Letting others down or letting yourself down.
Surprisingly, the answer isn't always so clear.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'm obsessed with halloween.

Making Room

I have had to make some big decisions form myself this past week, and I still have more to come. For someone who loves new experiences, I also thrive on the constancy and predictability in my every day life. But that's been missing for a while now, and it certainly isn't comming back any time soon. It's time for me to get back to basics, back to the life that a year ago I hated (how strange that now, that's the only thing I really want). I can't help but feel that I'm letting some people down in the process, but I've got to live my life the only way I know how.

I'm not super student. I can't survive being an overtime student, working two jobs, and making everyone happy in the process.

I can't believe that I've forgoted how to do the things that I want to do. I don't even remember what those words mean anymore.