That's really the only word that can describe what my past month has been like. I celebrated my 19th birthday, went to the spa, wondered WHY kids are spending their halloween at a carnival instead of trick or treating (there really isn't anything wrong with carnivals, but trick or treating is a right of passage! I mean come on!), I've been busting my butt at school, and really not seeing any of the results. Oh yeah, and I quit my job.
But, as usual, the second I cut something out of my life to make more room for - well - me, something else always gets in the way. My commitments that I made early in the year are becomming more and more consuming. Not that I necessarily object to that. I mean, I'm worn out now, but I'm sure I would hate never having anything to do just as much.
Ha. haha. ha. I'm just going to keep telling myself that.
I'm not sure how many of you know this, but I teach a color guard. When I started, It was a mad panic to get work filled in and to make sure the girls knew how to do all of it. But now, I have to start the whole process over from the begining, with MY decisions on the music and costumes and what not. It's all up to ME, and the anxiety and desire to give the girls and myself something we can all be proud of is driving me crazy. I swear, if I have to listen to one more possible winter guard song I may just shoot myself.
I love teaching though, and it only solidifies my choice in going to school to become a teacher. One major downside though is that i haven't gotten paid yet, and I really need the money. Teaching, I make about $400 less a month than I did at my old job, and I had decided that this was OK because I would be enjoying myself. But, now, I really just need the money.
With all of this strees, I think another spa trip may be in order.
There are still tons of exciting things I have to fill you in on (I promise they are actually worth reading, unlike this sorry rant), but I'm late for class. Stay tuned friends.